I found my experience with Catholicism's view of the family a bit demotivating. I know it's not intended to, and this may be a personal flaw, but I'm big into trying to understand the top-down metaphysical view of something.
That is, in an ultimate sense, under Catholicism family isn't really necessary. It is in a biological sense, but an the ultimate eternity it may not even exist (depending on who you read, it doesn't exist) and even if it does exist, it isn't of some ultimate importance - it is primarily a temporal expedient.
Now, when you're constitutionally lazy like myself, this isn't exactly the most motivating view. Maybe I'd have been better off in a monastery contemplating God, and not getting side-tracked by the real, everyday difficulty of earning money, getting along with a wife, raising children, etc.
That said, I do really enjoy my family. I love them greatly and find enjoy our relationships and time spent together... but I feel really bothered if what I'm doing isn't important, or not ultimately important. That is, I'm always asking "what is the purpose of this all, what should I be doing?"
I feel a constant nagging to do the most important thing. So maybe playing ball with the kid isn't that important, even though its enjoyable, but in the ultimate sense isn't it just a waste of time - an empty distraction? I mean, it feels in some sense important, and I think I should be here in the moment... but maybe that's just self deception and I should actually be off doing-something-more-important.
I found this sort of nagging and these sort of questions very hard to deal with.
As far as I know, Mormonism is the only religion where what I love doing most and what is most-important in an ultimate sense coincide: spending time with my family. Maybe the everyday joys of reading a book and playing ball are the most important in a very substantial, real, and eternal sense.
That is, I might hope to be with my family eternally, and in an eternal sense to continue to enjoy loving relationships as an ultimate joy and purpose. That what seems like difficult or tedious labor isn't so bad, because it isn't merely a temporal expedient and essentially meaningless, but has in itself ultimate purpose and is very important, both now and unto eternity.
That is incredibly beautiful to contemplate. Those thoughts are also incredibly motivating to me.
Good post.
ReplyDeleteYes, I also think that Catholics have an underwhelming way of thinking on this issue.
In practice, in a Catholic congregation there's usually lots of support for families. Families are spoken of highly. Married life is put forth as very important. Yet ...
Celibate, single life is put forth as the highest ideal. Mary and Joseph's relationship (supposedly - many Protestants would disagree) was un-consummated - they never actually had any kids. Most high-profile Saints come from celibate orders. There are virtually no high-profile, married couples with biological children in Catholicism. The hierarchy is almost entirely run by (supposed) celibates, who have never been married.
Similarly, theologically, Catholicism focuses on anti-contraception instead of pro-natalism (whereas it seems the Mormon focus on pro-natalism, in the current culture, is more effective - see your post on birth rates). In a sense, they are saying that family is important because ... it's important not to engage in a sexual act that isn't open to life. Well ... that doesn't seem to get to the point. Akin to the point in your post, there seems to be little emphasis on continued bonds between family members in the next life.
All in all, on this topic, and even though better than many currents in culture in general, I find it underwhelming when compared to something like Mormonism.
Yes, you are absolutely right. Unfortunately at the root of it in Catholic theology it seems the family is primarily good by negation - even marriage it sometimes spoken of as good mostly because adultery is bad, or just because it is a loving relationship - but one better celebrated as celibate, or with friends, etc.
DeleteThe Mormons directly link our seemingly mundane lives to the supernatural, and motivate and elevate that life so that the difficult tasks of raising children are about our ultimate purpose.
I could imagine the Catholics speculating more on the family's role, esp. with how essential it is to society, but it has never really come under attack like present, and the theology was developed and expanded primarily by the celibate... though one doesn't even need to consider bias if the historical role of the church as defender of morals in a society that had high birth rates for so many centuries - the present troubles just never came up.
"I could imagine the Catholics speculating more on the family's role, esp. with how essential it is to society"
ReplyDeleteI think Pope Saint John Paul II's work on the theology of the body goes some direction towards this.